My Lame Friend

By Sam Mossler


My friend Stanley was a lamo and he walked all bow legged. People would say, “Stanley, where you goin you bow legged fool?”. And he’d explain that he was going to get stamps for his mom but it would come out sounding like “ddhujifa satyred humfasatle” and they’d laugh and say “We know where your going, Stanley. You’re going to get you some of them orthopedic shoes.” Stanley would flick em a bird but Stanley couldn’t bend his fingers so it just looked like he was waving and they’d just wave back and ride away on his bike with his lunch and his medication and they’d all get stoned on it.